My top 10 saddest songs...

Sunday nights are usually a night for reflection. A night thinking about what one has to get through in the coming week, about what one regrets about the past week (or just about their lives in general). Most often, moods are pretty low on Sunday evenings (last night's hangover is still lingering around, or if you're into hard drugs, you're probably coming down pretty hard, considering the miserable rain that's currently covering New York City). Here's a list of my all-time top 10 sad songs, most aren't critically acclaimed, but they meant a lot to me. I guess this is my first real "serious" post, that is, one where I'm not making fun of anybody, being cynical or making random jokes. In retrospect, I guess this is me at my most naked and vulnerable (kind of weird to think that we're most vulnerable when we're being completely honest, huh?)

10) Matthew Good "Running For Home" (from their 1999 release Beautiful Midnight)
This gorgeous piano ballad closes off a flawless record. Said to be written about how Matt's friends were changing as his band saw more and more success this is the perfect soundtrack to what happens when life comes at you too fast. You look at yourself in the mirror one night and realize that you don't recognize what you see. You hate what you see and there's no hope or nothing to do to change yourself. You then realize that everyone else was right and you were wrong.
BEST LYRIC: "I turn the light on and there's nothing left redeeming"

9) Bush "Glycerine" (from their 1994 release Sixteen Stone)
Such an important song in my adolescence, and it still means so much today. I remember reading that Gavin wrote it about "when you really want something to work out, but you know in your heart, it just can't." How many of us have been in those situations? Where we long for someone so much even when we know it just isn't going to happen. It's one of those songs that will make you think of your ex from years ago, the one you still haven't closed the book on. It's one of those songs that means something to everyone at some point in their life.
BEST LYRIC: "I needed you more, when you wanted us less"

8) Gary Jules "Mad World" (From the Donnie Darko soundtrack)
Yes, I know this is a Tears For Fears cover. But I'm lifting that rule because even the frontman of Tears For Fears admitted he prefers this version to his own. I remember when I first heard it, I was watching Donnie Darko. It came at a point in the film when there was the slow realization that everything and everyone in Donnie's life seemed to either be falling apart or trapped in their own world of lies. To this day, I can't find a better placed song in a movie than this one. The way Jules voice quivers around the lyrics makes my stomach turn.
BEST LYRIC: "And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, that dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."

7) Goo Goo Dolls "Name" (From their 1995 release A Boy Named Goo)
The big breakthrough for these college/alternative rockers, this is probably still their most sincere song to date. Not really about a particular subject, but just about how you look back and realize you've sold yourself short, you've given up on your dreams, you've surrendered to a life of TV dinners and cheap thrills. As you're looking out the window on your drive home from work (or your commute home) you'll hear this song and sigh, wondering how you fell into this rut and how you can't do anything to escape it.
BEST LYRIC: "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?"

6) Our Lady Peace "Superman's Dead" (From their 1997 release Clumsy)
Probably the only non-ballad on this list, I still think this song means more to me than almost any song to date. It was released right when I was 13, right at the age of the subject(s) in the song. The song tells the tale of both a boy and a girl discovering the world isn't the peaceful, wonderful place they initially thought it would be. They both question their faith, question what makes them able to be noticed and ask why Superman is dead. Some may say it's about being bullied and, while that could be a reference in the song, it still speaks to the overall theme of feeling alienated and disenchanted with the modern world at such a young age. At the finale, where singe Raine Madia asks us "doesn't anybody ever know that the world's a subway" referring to the idea that all our dreams sink underground, still is gut-wrenching to me to this day. The perfect soundtrack to the loss of innocence
BEST LYRIC: "You're happy 'cuz you smile, but how much can you fake?"

5) Alice In Chains "Nutshell" (From their 1994 release Jar Of Flies)
Many will argue that "Down In A Hole" is Alice In Chain's most brutal moment, but this tender ballad wins in my book every time. Layne Staley was such a tragic character, hopelessly addicted to drugs, and even as he fought for his life, he couldn't kill his addiction (which would end up killing him in the long run). This track is probably his most naked, his most honest, and one of the few where he sings about others instead of just himself. The narrator sees everyone else chasing lost dreams, believing in lies and yet he still fights on, yet without a place to call home and certainly no one's shoulder to rest his head on. As he tries his hardest, the feeling that he's fighting a losing battle continues to creep up on him.
BEST LYRIC: "If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead"

4) Pearl Jam "Black" (From their 1991 release Ten)
I know it's one of their most famous songs, but there's a reason for it. This is probably the most passionate post breakup song you can listen to (that's not ridiculously cheesy and sappy). Our protagonist here is obviously pining over the loss of his loved one, but he's not just sad, he can't understand it all. He gave her everything, let her in, and she still isn't there. He's left with "bitter hands" and wondering "what was everything?" How many of us have been in the same situation? How many of us have the hopelessness that follows when losing that special someone? Absolutely gut-wrenching when you inspect the song.
BEST LYRIC: "I know you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star, but in somebody else's sky and why can't it be mine?"

3) Third Eye Blind "God Of Wine" (From their 1997 self-titled release)
Singer Stephan Jenkins always calls this the band's drinking song and I can see why. It's the type of song that speaks about the effects of alcohol and how it really works. When drinking, we usually start with a buzz that makes us happy, looses us up, makes us more social. But in the end, alcohol really leaves us with the feeling that everything is crumbling, the ones we pine after are the ones we can't have, and that there's nothing we can about it in our drunken state. Obviously this song can also have a similar meaning to "Glycerine", the idea of really wanting what we know we'll never have. But still it's the alcohol that really stimulates these emotions.
BEST LYRIC: "There's a memory of a window, looking through I see you searching for something I could never give you"

2) Matthew Good Band "Strange Days" (from their 1999 release Beautiful Midnight)
Like "Name" this songs seem to sum up a whole bunch of shityness. The idea of drifting off to sleep in traffic and then when the narrator asks us if we always hit the brakes brings up the idea that begs the question "Do we always try to stop ourselves before we hit the ground, or does a sick part of us love hitting the floor?" The other idea of us either being "dead or dying" is, while a completely terrible way to look at things, true. If you aren't dead, you're currently decaying and while you're decaying, you certainly aren't always enjoying the time you're spending on earth. A truly beautiful gift from Matthew Good to everyone. And remember when he sings "Good morning, don't cop out" he's talking to you.
BEST LYRIC: "The reasons for being are easy to pay, you can't remember the others, they just kind of went away"

1) Nine Inch Nails "Hurt" (From their 1994 release The Downward Spiral)
Fuck the Johnny Cash version. While that version is still beautiful, Trent's song is still absolutely breath-taking. Written at the end of a concept album about the narrator slowly spiraling downward (hence the title, right?) this is the most naked, honest, sincere and devastating confession I've ever heard. The way the writer blames no one but himself for his woes, the self-reflection, the realization that everyone has left him is beautiful. It sends a burning feeling through my chest when he sings "You are someone else, I am still right here."
BEST LYRIC: "What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end..."