50 or Kanye? Neither actually...

So the question on everyone's mind recently has been:

"WOW, WHY DOES BRITNEY SPEARS CONTINUE TO PUT US THROUGH SUCH TORTURE?"

But besides that, many peopel are asking

"OMG WTF WHU DO U TINK WILL CELL MO' DISCS, FITTY OR KANYE, LOL!?!?!!!?"

As a loyal citizen, I'm here to tell you to NOT purchase either of those CDs. In fact, I suggest that you download them illegally, and send them to as many friends as possible. Actually, let's take it a step beyond that, send it to everyone you can think of, even people you know don't like 50 Cent or Kanye West. Hell, I plan on burning it onto a CD, recording it to a cassette tape (for the younger audience, please wikipedia that) and sending it to my grandmother. I'll post a link in my away message (which will be checked by a grand total of 4 people) as to where to download both discs.

"BUT PHIL, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THE $25 I SAVED UP TO BUY THOSE CDS LOL?!?!?!"

Ah, I'm glad you asked that. A little band called Hot Hot Heat released their new disc yesterday called Happiness Ltd. and they are much more deserving of your $9.99 (or, $16.99 if you're one of those tools who still goes to FYE). Here's why you should buy Hot Hot Heat rather than 50 or Kanye

- Hot Hot Heat doesn't throw a temper tantrum when they lose to someone else in some meaningless bullshit award at the MTV VMAs

- Hot Hot heat doesn't need to remind you in every interview how they got shot 9 times

- Hot Hot Heat makes you dance, jump, and sign. 50 Cent and Kanye West make you defecate onto the floor.

- Hot Hot Heat will have no problem coming over and hanging out with your mom. It'll be a good, clean afternoon of watching TV and looking at old pictures of you. 50 Cent and Kanye West will be too busy flexing their muscles and wearing stupid white sunglasses.

- Hot Hot Heat are low in fat, low in sugar, high in fun!

Ok, so now, if you're looking for the 50 Cent or Kanye West CD, just ask whoever your "coolest" friend is (by coolest I mean your one friend who has finally moved on to not using Kazaa or Limewire) and ask them to get you the freshest jamz from 50 and Kanye so you can feel semi-rebellious while bumpin' those tunes in your Jeep Wrangler. Again, I'm not saying 50 Cent and Kanye aren't talented, I'm just asking you not to spend money on their music. Let me know if you have any more questions. Thanks!

Anatomy of a song - Motion City Soundtrack "Broken Heart"

Many times when listening to music we forget the real reason we listen: the way it makes us feel. Strip away all the pretentiousness in music, all the self-indulgence, all the added instrument solos and ask yourself "how does this song speak to me?" The songs that are best are the ones that speak to you. It can range from a simple melody over some chords to a trance-electronica song with 120 different tracks in it. If it exhibits a proper emotion, one that hits the listener in the gut, that's what makes it great.

This summer, Motion City Soundtrack's "Broken Heart" was one that did that for me. No, I'm not going to delve into some she-done-me-wrong type story, I'm leaving my personal life out of this. Instead, I want to talk about what's behind the lyrics and why they strike such a chord, not just with me, but with many.

I'll start this broken heart
I'll fix it up so it will work again
Better than before

Then I'll star in a mystery
A tragic tale of all that's yet to come
With fingers crossed there will be love

When you're alone or after you've severed ties or been left my a significant other, there's hardly a more vulnerable time in your life. At first you want to jump-start your heart so to say, jump right back in there not only to convince your ex that you're still in the game, but to convince yourself. The "mystery" the author is speaking of is the life after love is lost, which is indeed quite the tragic tale. But even as our protagonists drifts through this hopeless lost world without his heart, he'll still cross his fingers. That is until...

But I get carried away
With every day
And every fantasy
The deeper the wound
The harder I swoon
And wish that that was me
With so much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I'm getting used to it
You have to get used to it

How many times do we sit back and replay the events of losing the one love over and over again in our head? How many times do we look at someone on the street, in class, in our office with some type of desire and it only pours salt in the wound realizing that they can't love you and you'll never have them. How about that feeling when you want to scream from the top your lungs everything that's causing your pain yet you can't even begin to construct the sentences to describe to anyone else what's going on inside.

There's really no way to defeat loneliness. No matter how many books you read, how many movies you watch, it still lingers in your head, heart and in your stomach. But, alas, you have to get used to it because you have no other choice...

I'll devise the best disguise
A brand new look and take them by surprise
They'll never guess what's not inside

I'll express myself with ease
With confidence and character complete
With fingers crossed they'll talk to me

So while you're attempting to reconstruct the damage you're going to try to put a mask in to let everyone know that you're in control. Hell, you might even by some new clothes, get a new haircut, be open and warm and friendly for a change. Everything you can do to make sure no one ever finds out about the damage that's going on inside you. You'll laugh, you'll smile, you'll make a few witty jokes here and then to ensure everyone you've got confidence. Hell, maybe that'll make people start talking to you and, just maybe, you'll find that someone.

Let's not get too narsiccistic here. Not only could you be carrying around a broken heart, but others as well. How many times a day do we greet people with warm smiles and they return one back at us. How many of them could possibly be walking around with some sort of devestation that they're currently dealing with. It's amazing how civil we are with each other and how many times we answer the question of "How are you doing" with "good" when we all hardbor so much guilt, pain, resentment, anger, hurt and fear. We'll put on this friendly face to try and hope to bring people into our personal bubble and help deal with the pain. Maybe, just maybe, they'll be able to understand and they'll bring about the feelings we've been missing. Still...

But I get carried away
With every page in every magazine
The cheaper the thrill
The deeper I fill my head with blasphemy
With so much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I'm getting used to it
You have to get used to it
(So get used to it)

Still you can't get away from the fact that you're alone and have no one. Reading those magazines telling you the new fads, how to get into relationships, how to meet women/men, how to end your heartbreak, how to get a new look, etc. only add to your overwhelming feel of being disgusted, disillusioned and overall apathic to the everyday world. You try to meld yourself into "normal" society only to find that you're alone, you're on the outside, everyone else has that someone, everyone else has it together. So, take a deep breath, feel that sting in your eyes and realize that this is all you have.

I'll destroy this useless heart
I'll fuck it up so it'll never beat again
Not just for me but for anyone

But I get carried away
With every phrase
And made up malady
The longer I hide
Behind these lies
The more I disintegrate
With so much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
You never get used to it
You just have to live with it

That's it, you've had it. You'll stop your own heart so you don't have to deal with it and it'll never have to deal with anyone else. How many times have we pledged to ourself after a dismal relationship: "I'll never fall in love again"? So many poeple say that each day but yet, they still take on the quest to find what they lost. The longer they tell themselves lies, the longer they put on the fake face, the longer they try, they still find themselves falling apart. And, while falling apart, there's no one around to put them back together.

Why Brand New matters more than any other band today...

Have you heard of Brand New? There's a fairly good chance you have. They've had a few moderately popular singles on modern rock radio and kids on the 'net can't seem to stop raving about them.

I know what you're thinking: "Oh, wow, another Internet hype story. Which pretentious blogger is creaming his/her pants about them now?" but it's not that simple...

Allow me to use this analogy. We all know Pearl Jam, right? Back in the early 90's, along with Nirvana, Pearl Jam were basically the poster boys for the whole grunge thing. Hell, Time magazine even threw Eddie Vedder on the cover proclaiming him the "voice of a generation" and writing about how he was the lord and savior for all those angry/depressed/angsty kids who suffered from real pain (or were merely pissed that there dad asked them to take out the garbage). Their videos were getting constantly played on MTV (you remember when MTV played videos, right?), their songs were all over the radio, sold out shows, magazine covers, etc. Problem was, the band didn't want to have it anymore. They loved to make MUSIC. They didn't want to play the game. So they took matters into their own hands. They stopped making videos. They didn't' even release a proper single when their second disc, Vs. came out, they fought TicketMaster and tried to schedule a tour avoiding all TicketMaster venues. Sure, they didn't succeed on all levels but the point is this: THEY DIDN'T LET OVEREXPOSURE KILL THEM.

Throw a stone at the average mid-twentysomething American and they'll know Pearl Jam. They'll probably say something along the lines of "Oh yeah, they're old stuff was great before they got all wierd." And therein lies the genius of Pearl Jam. They never went away. They continued putting out interesting records a good 10 years after they faded away from the mainstream. Sure, there was some attention given to their last self-titled release with critics touting it as a "return to form" but really, the band has continued evolving, pushing themselves musically while not whoring themselves out. Yes, they did give interviews and, okay, they started playing TicketMaster venues again, the point was they had integrity and that portrayed the band as being somewhat mysterious in a way, which makes them even more interesting.

So, now let's talk about Brand New. For those not keeping up, they started as young kids on Long Island debuting with a record full of pop-punky ditties about girls hurting their feelings. Even though it was cliche subject matter, Your Favorite Weapon still was more accomplished then most of your Long Island pop-punk bands who whine about girls. The hooks were infection, the lyrics were clever and they didn't succumb to too many cliches. The record ended up selling 50,000 copies just based on word-of-mouth. People were watering at the mouth waiting for the follow-up, hoping to get some more witty, sarcastic, fun pop-punk songs.

And they had no idea what was in store for them.

Enter Deja Entendu released in June of 2003. A moody, more atmospheric, more mature, yet still clever, sophisticated, hooky and infection, this record was met with both shock and delight. Those fans still stuck in high school mode dismissed the band is being too pretentious. The other fans grabbed on to the record like it was a long-lost lover. They clung to ever lyric. They tried to decipher every phrase. I'll be willing to bet that almost every lyric can be found on someone's MySpace page. The band continued to tour and were clearly trying to distance themselves from the whole scene that worshiped them. With websites such as absolutepunk and punknews both giving the band approval, by the time summer 2004 rolled around, even more people were hungry for a follow-up. To add to the intensity, it was announced that they were leaving their label Razor & Tie for Interscope. Not that many people cared (though I'm sure a few still threw the "sellout" argument around), this was going to be a big release.

And then, nothing.

Literally, a year and 6 months go by. Sporadic updates of the recording sessions would come and go, but anytime someone would be standing out in the rain waiting for (insert emo band X)'s show, if the topic of Brand New came up, it was simply met with "Uh, yeah, I think they're coming out with a new one soon."

In March some demos leaked out onto the Internet. Fans were both surprised, disappointed and confused by the direction. The band was moving further and further away from its once youthful pop-punk sound. This was even moodier, darker and textured than Deja. Still, the fans continued to wait.

In late May of 2006, the band announced a tour. All the dates sold out pretty quickly. The band debuted some new material during the tour (about 2-3 songs per show) but still kept it to familiar favorites. Only, you could see the band was changing. They'd stretch out the songs a little more, indulge a little more in random bits of solos, adding new ideas and arrangements to the songs. They were becoming a BAND, they weren't just covering their own songs.

When The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me was finally released in November of '06 there was NO press done by the band. They would post blurbs on their website, but they refused to do interviews in the U.S. There were no music videos made. And, as they ignored their fans and the public more and more, the more people couldn't stop talking about them. Fans were both delighted, disappointed, enthralled and disgusted by the new direction. But most of all, NO ONE could stop talking about it. Discussion threads would go on for pages about the new direction. People were wondering why the band wasn't talking, why the band chose to keep such a low profile, why there were practically no liner notes in the new CD.

That's when I realized this band was the most important band out there today. They're not being championed by The Village Voice, they're not being raved about by "Steve's too-cool-for-school rock show" on college radio, SPIN and NME certainly aren't giving them extra coverage, but they have their OWN integrity. They are able to sell-out venues that bands with a song on Top 40 radio can't even fill. Most importantly, they get people talking about their music. People are PASSIONATE about their music. You think there's people passionate about Maroon 5? Nope. People like Maroon 5 the way they like ice cream. Enjoyable, sweet and fun. Brand New is something else. Brand New is something you can listen to for the rest of your life. Above all the bullshit that is pushed onto us by major labels, people are PULLING for Brand New. And that's why they are the smartest band out there today.

Concert Round-up

Ok people, you know the deal. Well, the 2 of you who read this know it. Anyways, much like the new music round-up, the concert round-up is where I give my 2 cents on a lot of the recent shows I've been to. If I feel like writing a lot, I will. If I don't feel like writing a lot, I won't. Simple as that.

8/4/07 - Warped Tour - Nassau Coliseum

Holy shit it was fucking hot. Anyways, Warpred Tour is nothing more than a sampling of bands. I hardly ever see a full set as I drift from stage to stage catching pieces of each act. No big surprises today (which I can't blame on the artists, since they only have a half hour set time). A few things that stood out was the fact that Tiger Army wasn't afraid to play their slow song. A haunting number Nick 13 wrote about a friend who took his own life. Circa Survive can still rip it up live. Coheed & Cambria seem out of place there. And, yeah, that's it. Typical Warped Tour. No more, no less.

8/6/07 - Muse - Madison Square Garden

Wow. Just wow. First off, it's awesome that these guys can fill up MSG without THAT much mainstream success. Sure, they have some popular singles, but everyone who was there was a fan. Sure, Matt Bellamy self-indulged in a little more rock-star posturing than he did nearly a year ago at their show at Hammerstein (weirdly, across the street from MSG) but he deserved it. Since they're massive in England, they know how to work arena and they're not intimidated by it. All those songs sound huge in the setting. Amazing how big of a wall of sound a three-piece can make (and their computer too, I guess).

8/8/07 - Beastie Boys - Central Park Summerstage

This show really goes to prove how they are legends and how they keep things interesting. The setlist consisted of material spawning every aspect of their career and you could tell they played the songs that THEY wanted to play. Mike D even made a point of saying how he took the subway up to the show and, you know what, I believe him. They jammed a few of their new instrumental tracks, played a lot of fan favorites, played some of the hits, I couldn't have asked for more. As my friend later pointed out, sometimes you forget that you're seeing one of the biggest bands in the world goofing around on a small stage in the middle of Central Park.

8/9/07 - Incubus - Jones Beach Amphitheatre

Boring, predictable, etc. Seriously, do they have to do that same jam in the middle of "Sick Sad World" everytime? January's show at Hammerstein was so much better. I'm not just saying that because I was stuck in a seat, the whole thing just felt like they were on auto-pilot. I do respect how they don't play all their hit singles and switch the setlist up a bit, but the show just seemed SOOOOOO uninspired. Bleh, hopefully next time will be better. On another note, The Bravery were also a complete bore which is disappointing considering both times I've seen them (Webster Hall and Irving Plaza), they were much more on point.

8/14/07 - Mae - Grammercy Theatre

Hey, Capital Records, if I were you, I'd take this as NOT a good sign. The band you just signed with a supposed following couldn't even fill up the Grammercy Theatre on the release date of their new record. Something wrong? I think so. Mae is fine. Good meat-and-potatoes, safe, friendly pop/rock. They write some pretty melodies. They could have the potential to have a few crossover hits. We'll see what the label chooses to do with them. As for the show? Predictable set. Now, on the other hand, openers As Tall As Lions are a band you need to go listen to if you're reading this.

8/18/07 - Velvet Revolver (w/Alice In Chains) - Jones Beach Amphitheatre

Holy shit, Alice In Chains killed it. I thought with having a new singer it would be kinda strange, but it was ON POINT. The crowd was definitely more into them than VR. Alice looked so happy to be up there on stage again (as an added bonus, they were dressed like it was still 1992). It was powerhouse hit after hit. The same can't be said for Velvet Revolver. Everytime I see them it's as if there's a certain level of intensity missing. Similar to Incubus it's kind of like each MEMBER is on Auto-Pilot which usually works for the whole but there's a few parts that are noticeable. Someone screwed up when they were doing STP's "Vasoline" and the timing was off in a few numbers. Weiland seems to be smoking too much also (the high notes on "Fall To Pieces" were suffering). Still, I don't think I could ever give up the chance to see Scott Weiland perform.

My top 10 saddest songs...

Sunday nights are usually a night for reflection. A night thinking about what one has to get through in the coming week, about what one regrets about the past week (or just about their lives in general). Most often, moods are pretty low on Sunday evenings (last night's hangover is still lingering around, or if you're into hard drugs, you're probably coming down pretty hard, considering the miserable rain that's currently covering New York City). Here's a list of my all-time top 10 sad songs, most aren't critically acclaimed, but they meant a lot to me. I guess this is my first real "serious" post, that is, one where I'm not making fun of anybody, being cynical or making random jokes. In retrospect, I guess this is me at my most naked and vulnerable (kind of weird to think that we're most vulnerable when we're being completely honest, huh?)

10) Matthew Good "Running For Home" (from their 1999 release Beautiful Midnight)
This gorgeous piano ballad closes off a flawless record. Said to be written about how Matt's friends were changing as his band saw more and more success this is the perfect soundtrack to what happens when life comes at you too fast. You look at yourself in the mirror one night and realize that you don't recognize what you see. You hate what you see and there's no hope or nothing to do to change yourself. You then realize that everyone else was right and you were wrong.
BEST LYRIC: "I turn the light on and there's nothing left redeeming"

9) Bush "Glycerine" (from their 1994 release Sixteen Stone)
Such an important song in my adolescence, and it still means so much today. I remember reading that Gavin wrote it about "when you really want something to work out, but you know in your heart, it just can't." How many of us have been in those situations? Where we long for someone so much even when we know it just isn't going to happen. It's one of those songs that will make you think of your ex from years ago, the one you still haven't closed the book on. It's one of those songs that means something to everyone at some point in their life.
BEST LYRIC: "I needed you more, when you wanted us less"

8) Gary Jules "Mad World" (From the Donnie Darko soundtrack)
Yes, I know this is a Tears For Fears cover. But I'm lifting that rule because even the frontman of Tears For Fears admitted he prefers this version to his own. I remember when I first heard it, I was watching Donnie Darko. It came at a point in the film when there was the slow realization that everything and everyone in Donnie's life seemed to either be falling apart or trapped in their own world of lies. To this day, I can't find a better placed song in a movie than this one. The way Jules voice quivers around the lyrics makes my stomach turn.
BEST LYRIC: "And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, that dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."

7) Goo Goo Dolls "Name" (From their 1995 release A Boy Named Goo)
The big breakthrough for these college/alternative rockers, this is probably still their most sincere song to date. Not really about a particular subject, but just about how you look back and realize you've sold yourself short, you've given up on your dreams, you've surrendered to a life of TV dinners and cheap thrills. As you're looking out the window on your drive home from work (or your commute home) you'll hear this song and sigh, wondering how you fell into this rut and how you can't do anything to escape it.
BEST LYRIC: "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?"

6) Our Lady Peace "Superman's Dead" (From their 1997 release Clumsy)
Probably the only non-ballad on this list, I still think this song means more to me than almost any song to date. It was released right when I was 13, right at the age of the subject(s) in the song. The song tells the tale of both a boy and a girl discovering the world isn't the peaceful, wonderful place they initially thought it would be. They both question their faith, question what makes them able to be noticed and ask why Superman is dead. Some may say it's about being bullied and, while that could be a reference in the song, it still speaks to the overall theme of feeling alienated and disenchanted with the modern world at such a young age. At the finale, where singe Raine Madia asks us "doesn't anybody ever know that the world's a subway" referring to the idea that all our dreams sink underground, still is gut-wrenching to me to this day. The perfect soundtrack to the loss of innocence
BEST LYRIC: "You're happy 'cuz you smile, but how much can you fake?"

5) Alice In Chains "Nutshell" (From their 1994 release Jar Of Flies)
Many will argue that "Down In A Hole" is Alice In Chain's most brutal moment, but this tender ballad wins in my book every time. Layne Staley was such a tragic character, hopelessly addicted to drugs, and even as he fought for his life, he couldn't kill his addiction (which would end up killing him in the long run). This track is probably his most naked, his most honest, and one of the few where he sings about others instead of just himself. The narrator sees everyone else chasing lost dreams, believing in lies and yet he still fights on, yet without a place to call home and certainly no one's shoulder to rest his head on. As he tries his hardest, the feeling that he's fighting a losing battle continues to creep up on him.
BEST LYRIC: "If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead"

4) Pearl Jam "Black" (From their 1991 release Ten)
I know it's one of their most famous songs, but there's a reason for it. This is probably the most passionate post breakup song you can listen to (that's not ridiculously cheesy and sappy). Our protagonist here is obviously pining over the loss of his loved one, but he's not just sad, he can't understand it all. He gave her everything, let her in, and she still isn't there. He's left with "bitter hands" and wondering "what was everything?" How many of us have been in the same situation? How many of us have the hopelessness that follows when losing that special someone? Absolutely gut-wrenching when you inspect the song.
BEST LYRIC: "I know you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star, but in somebody else's sky and why can't it be mine?"

3) Third Eye Blind "God Of Wine" (From their 1997 self-titled release)
Singer Stephan Jenkins always calls this the band's drinking song and I can see why. It's the type of song that speaks about the effects of alcohol and how it really works. When drinking, we usually start with a buzz that makes us happy, looses us up, makes us more social. But in the end, alcohol really leaves us with the feeling that everything is crumbling, the ones we pine after are the ones we can't have, and that there's nothing we can about it in our drunken state. Obviously this song can also have a similar meaning to "Glycerine", the idea of really wanting what we know we'll never have. But still it's the alcohol that really stimulates these emotions.
BEST LYRIC: "There's a memory of a window, looking through I see you searching for something I could never give you"

2) Matthew Good Band "Strange Days" (from their 1999 release Beautiful Midnight)
Like "Name" this songs seem to sum up a whole bunch of shityness. The idea of drifting off to sleep in traffic and then when the narrator asks us if we always hit the brakes brings up the idea that begs the question "Do we always try to stop ourselves before we hit the ground, or does a sick part of us love hitting the floor?" The other idea of us either being "dead or dying" is, while a completely terrible way to look at things, true. If you aren't dead, you're currently decaying and while you're decaying, you certainly aren't always enjoying the time you're spending on earth. A truly beautiful gift from Matthew Good to everyone. And remember when he sings "Good morning, don't cop out" he's talking to you.
BEST LYRIC: "The reasons for being are easy to pay, you can't remember the others, they just kind of went away"

1) Nine Inch Nails "Hurt" (From their 1994 release The Downward Spiral)
Fuck the Johnny Cash version. While that version is still beautiful, Trent's song is still absolutely breath-taking. Written at the end of a concept album about the narrator slowly spiraling downward (hence the title, right?) this is the most naked, honest, sincere and devastating confession I've ever heard. The way the writer blames no one but himself for his woes, the self-reflection, the realization that everyone has left him is beautiful. It sends a burning feeling through my chest when he sings "You are someone else, I am still right here."
BEST LYRIC: "What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end..."

Why sign with a major label anymore?

I know what you're thinking. I'm going to go on some long rant about how signing to a major label is like signing your soul to devil. I'll go on to say that you give up all your integrity and become a corporate whore by signing to one of the majors. I'll bitch and moan about how major label music is nothing but watered-down, over-commercialized, sterile bullshit. I'll point out how the underground "scene" is much more relevant than anything released on a major label. At any given chance, I'll make it a point to make fun of MTV and all other commercial media outlets.

Sorry to dissapoint, but that's not the reason for this post.

Let's get one thing clear before I start. I have no problem with major labels. I have no problem with bands that sign with major labels. 10 years ago it was a great idea. If you're in a band, you want your music to get out to the most people. You want to sell millions of records. You want your songs to be hits. Even the most arrogant indie bands secretly wish that their songs were readily available to the masses. After all, that's why we start playing guitar. Once we write a song we think is great, we want everyone possible to hear it. We want to be able to share our art with as many people as possible.

However, it's 2007, not 1997 and times have obviously changed. Here's an example. I recently learned the Alkaline Trio signed with Epic Records. This band has been putting out records on indie labels (well, kind-of-indie, Vagrant is partially owned by Interscope, which is a division of Universal Music), built up a following, and can pack clubs. So they're on Epic now. Great! The only problem is, what is Epic going to do for them that hasn't already been done for them.

Indie labels aren't really independent. Sure, they're not owned by a larger corporation, but it's not like you're an independent band if you're signed to some of these. You still have a bulk of the people doing the work, making sure your albums are in CD stores, on Itunes, making sure you're on tour. Hell, you even have roadies setting up your gear if you're a big "indie" band. If you're The Shins, who are on Sub Pop, you're playing large venues, you have merch people, you have roadies, you have a tour manager, you have a publicist, etc. This begs the question: what's the difference between an "indie" artist and a major label artist anymore?

Bands usually decide to sign with majors because they feel the majors can push their music to the masses. The think majors will get their songs airplay, get people in Middle America more interested. The problem is, majors don't really have much power these days. With MySpace, YouTube, and numerous other web-based music-inspired sites, the audience is so fragmented that it doesn't really matter if you're on Warner Brothers Records anymore. People are listening to FM radio less and less. You can't rely on that good 'ol rock radio hit anymore. This is because NOBODY'S LISTENING.

Getting back to the Alkaline Trio, they already have a big fanbase. I'm sure they have people at Vagrant who are radio promo people, calling up modern rock stations pushing their singles. They have a tour manager who's taking care of booking shows. They have a publicist, getting them minor spots in major magazines. So what can Epic do for them that Vagrant can't do? Epic may have given them a shitload of cash when they signed, but they have to make that back and how? Alkaline Trio is not going to have a platinum record. Don't get me wrong, I think they're a great band, but their time to "make it" has come and passed. From the scene they come from, you only get one chance. It usually comes off of a well-received minor indie release. There's a ton of buzz about it, you ride the buzz of this release while recording the big-deal follow-up and then when the follow-up hits, boom your stars. Or, the follow-up hits and people just aren't interested anymore. Most people who would be Alkaline Trio fans already know about them. They're not cute enough to make it into TRL. They're not poppy enough for Top 40 radio, so where else can they go? There are less and less Alternative stations in the country, so is it really in Epic's best interest to put a bunch of money behind a record that will most likely sell 100-150k? It's going to be the same old routine. After it's all over the band will blame the label for not "giving them enough attention and enough promotion." The label will then blame the band for "not making a record that's marketable" and they'll be history. In fact they'll probably alienate a part of their fanbase who (wrongly so) think the band is "selling out" by signing to Epic.

Look, like I said before, I have no problems with major labels. Hell, I'd probably sign to one. But these days, it's not a question of selling out, it's a question of a smart business decision. Here's what'll happen if you sign to a major:

YOU'LL OWE LOTS OF MONEY TO THEM. Think that $1 million advance is a gift? Not a chance. You gotta make that back. You also have to make the label back to the cost of recording, making a video, promotion the record, etc. If you're a baby act, maybe this will be a chance for you to get your music to the masses. If you're an act on a big indie with an already established fanbase, why do it these days? There's the off chance you'll cross over to the mainstream but if you're 6 records deep, the chances are growing slimmer by the day. Just keep building on the audience you already have and get your music to the most people possible. That is, of course, why you started a band, right?

Indie goes hip-hop, what next?

So, have you any of you heard about this new compilation coming out called Indie Goes Hip Hop? No? Well, it's not that important. Apparently a bunch of "indie" bands (really, what's considered indie these days, even if you're on a non-major label, you still have a bunch of people doing work for you, you're not doing it independantly). Anyways, a bunch of these "indie" bands are covering classic and non-classic hip-hop songs. Wow, I think my irony bubble finally burst.

I mean, I'm sure these guys are totally just paying homage to their influences. I'm sure they're totally not snickering underneath it all and doing it as a big act of "Hey! Isn't it funny and ironic that a bunch of skinny/doofy white guys are covering hip-hop songs. We all grew up in the suburbs and have no idea what it was like to struggle in some of the places these rap artists have been, but we totally just want to pay tribute to them."

The title of this post is "Indie goes hip-hop, what next?" That wasn't asked as a rhetorical question, I'm actually going to tell you what's going to come next. I mean, if indie can go hip-hop than think of how many other cool combinations we can come up with. Here's a few you might be seeing talked about on whatever stupid blog you read or website you visit to purchase music (and maybe in a few of those stores left over that sell CDs).

White Trash Bouncers Rawk Hard, y'all!

At pretty much any show you go to, chances are, there's some big dude with lots of cliche tattoos catching all the fat kids who crowd surf and taking the opportunity to beat ass whenever given the chance. For example, if you drop your cell phone, you can bet this bouncer is going to kick your ass. Anyways, for this compilation, all the angry bouncers are going to sing and play all those stereotypical macho nu metal songs. They'll cover artists such as Godsmack, Saliva, Disturbed, etc. Fans will be amazed at how "hard" the CD sounds. Tough guys everywhere will have a new soundtrack for when they bench that 400 lbs every week.

Rap goes soft rock

Ever wonder what it would be like if Ice Cube covered Michael Bolton? Well now's your chance to hear! In this compilation, we're going to round up the "hardest" rappers and have them sing all those elavator favorites. I don't mean they're going to record a hip-hop version, I mean Ice Cube is literally going to sing Michael Bolton's "When A Man Loves A Woman"? How awesome would that be? The inside will be all of these rappers dressed up in sweaters with turtlenecks, in the midst of a golf game at the country club. Here's a few tentative tracks:

Wu-Tang Clan "My Heart Will Go On" (Celine Dion cover) - They'll take turns doing the verses/choruses since there's so many of them. I think Gizza will actually take the main chorus though.

DMX "You're Beautiful" (James Blunt cover) - It's just going to be DMX on vocals with Suge Knight playing piano. They will hold hands while recording.

Lil John "Your Body Is A Wonderland" (John Mayer cover) - This usual borefest will be brought to life as Lil John croons his way through this touching new version.

Kids Who Constantly Bitch Of Internet Messageboards about bands selling out and being "fags" compilation

On pretty much every messageboard on the internet pertaining to music, there's some kid in his mom's basement, sipping Dr. Pepper and complaining about how sold out, isn't emo enough or are homosexuals. Now, those kids are finally getting a voice! This will actually be a double-disc compilation. All the bands on here will be made up of kids who constantly bitch on the internet. Ironically, it will sound no different from most of the popular bands they bitch about. The same kids who recorded music for the CD will then log onto their own websites forums to call themselves "fagz 4 real" and then saw "p3wnnnnnnd".

Local Brooklyn pretentious hipster/dufus bands covering Creed and Nickelback

Picture this: All those boring "indie" bands from Brookyln that you can't tell apart (because they all have the same damn haircut for some reason) are going to cover the two bands them and the music press complains most about: Nickelback and Creed! Think how amazing it'll be to hear some monotone voice singing "Can you take me hiiiiiiiiiigher?" Amazingly, this compilation will gain more attention than any of these bands ever will.

Record Label Drunk Secretaries Kareoke versions of Artists

You know for sure that every year, despite continuing loss of profit, each major label throws its apathetic employees a Christmas Party. What better idea than to have your employees sing kareoke versions of artists on your label? Say, for example, that you're at the Sony Music Christmas party. While Tommy Motolla is busy getting freaky with whatever the latest pop young diva is, you have his "administrative assistants" (i.e. the girls he bangs on the side) doing a drunken version of "Since U Been Gone." Kids from all over the world can hear what they have to look forward to when they enter a long life of pissing their time away in a cubicle to make more goofy white guys rich. Bonus disc will come for when the intern duets with label president on "Sk8er Grl" or whatever that garbage is...